BOYS.

I’ve been waiting for a while to write a post such as this; countless spiral notebooks and leather bound journals tucked underneath my bed or tossed very vulnerably on the floor, can testify (as can my mom, who has not-so-sneakily riffled through every single one. People don’t forget, MOM). Each one filled with detailed plot summaries written after date nights, prom nights and high school parties, scratched and scribbled pros and cons lists, most of which ending with a giant declaration of incredibly well thought out approval: “OMG SO CUTE, YES!” circled in hearts. And finally, without fail, one final entry filled with angst and annoyance, a violent pen-to-paper routine detailing the downfall; can’t make up his mind, asked a different girl to prom, too busy for a girlfriend, I’m way too good for him, smokes way too much pot, made out with my bff, suddenly goes AWOL, and my all time favorite; SURPRISE! He’s had a girlfriend this whole time!!! (this list is not entirely made up of personal experiences and excuses I’ve been dealt or have dealt, but that last one definitely happened). Boys are f#*%ing dumb.

[quick pause to contemplate whether or not I’m actually hitting publish on this one]

In a perfect world, there’d be some way to get back the countless hours every girl everywhere has ever spent carefully analyzing the *deep meaning* behind every syllable in every text message, every inflection of every word in every conversation, every side-glance, ambiguous hand gesture (I’m talking, high five, quick hug, pound it, does he want to hold hands, did he not wave back because he didn’t see me?????), every emoji sent, every disappearing selfie ever snapped; every everything that every guy everywhere has ever done.

I won’t even pretend to act like I’m embarrassed to be admitting all of this because it is, without doubt, the painfully honest routine of, as stated, every girl everywhere. And that’s a problem because while boys are, as stated, f#*%ing dumb, girls are too. We let boys tear us down and kill our confidence and minimize that happy disposition that we should all be basking in, whether for 5 minutes or 5 months, it happens. They bring a new level of crazy into our lives and make us do ridiculous shit; re-route your path to class for a better chance of bumping into him on campus, “accidentally” send that text message that was totally meant for bff eyes only (“omg last night was so fun, he’s so funny! I hope he likes me back! oops wrong text, but hey what’s up?!”), spend 2 hours filtering that pic from last night ’cause, like, he follows you on Instagram now and “does my arm look skinny???”, purchase that [insert his favorite NFL team here] jersey, ’cause you LOVE sports and coincidentally, all the same teams he does! Go team! We stalk, we sulk, we sneak, we snicker, we click and scroll and dig and dish and it’s all f#*%ing dumb. (again, not all personal experiences, I promise you, but thanks to my girlfriends for offering up some real life examples).

In big ways or small, no matter how sure of yourself you are or how many times you tell yourself and your girlfriends that you don’t need no man, boys make us all feel some type of way at some point in time; good or bad, most times undecided. It’s sad and it’s true and it’s totally messed up.

So next time the opposite sex has you acting in a pathetically un-chill, borderline robotic, completely out-of-character, totally psychotic way, take a step back. Put your phone down cause that text ain’t comin’ and you have no business striking up another dead end conversation. Stop stalking, stop stressing and tell the voice inside your head to zip it; the reason he’s not calling is NOT because you opted for Chipotle instead of the salad bar at lunch today and no, everything in your closet does not make you look fat.

Fall out of the rigidly confined, gender-normative ways that you’ve fallen victim to and get it together. Because we’ve all been here, played this infuriating game of he-said-she-said, what-does-he-mean-by-XYZ, why-won’t-he-text-me-back, maybe-there’s-someone-else, maybe-I’m-not-pretty-enough, bullshit.

So really, take a minute to collect yourself, confidently declare to all your friends that you just “literally, can’t” anymore, and then actually, literally, don’t. We’re better than this.

Girl power & good vibes, my friends.

[Does this post get me one step closer to becoming Andie Anderson???]

P.S. They’re not all terrible and dumb. Shout out to the lots of awesome dudes in my life, past, present and always.

P.P.S. In case I didn’t paint an accurate picture for you, Ben Folds does a pretty decent job here and come to think of it, also here. Enjoy.

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TGIFriYAY

You guys, my move went SO well and it’s finally Friday so let’s drink (coffee) to that (or bloody’s, we could drink bloody’s to that if you want). Seriously, I don’t know what all the fuss is about; September 1 was a walk in The Common. Parking was a breeze and I was a one woman powerhouse, up and down 4 flights of stairs with a full truck load in under 40 minutes – solo. Pete showed up two hours late to help with the heaviest stuff and we were eating nachos and beer within an hour. Simple.

The kitchen only has one outlet and there’s no where to place the Keurig so that the cord reaches said outlet, but I think that’s really the only downfall. Place is nice, people are nice, I’m feeling like it’s gonna be a good year.

ANYWAY, enough about me. The Endless Summer continues this weekend with an extra long week and if that’s not a reason to burn a few 1D vs. T. Swift mix CDs and let your hair down, I don’t know what is. For the next 72 hours I wish upon you all nothing but sunny days and no traffic delays on the way to wherever you’re headed, near or far. Happy Long Weekending, friends & cheers to a pretty good summer.

IF however, you ARE stuck in a car today or trapped in the office like yours truly waiting for the clock to strike 2, here’s a few links that will lead you to some cool stuff on the internet:

  • This chic cracked the code to online dating and it’s pretty fascinating.
  • Jimmy Fallon interviewed Justin Bieber and it was a pretty heart warming scenario.
    • Related: JB went from cute to moronic to hot pretty quick but I’m not complaining. I’m also never gonna stop listening this tune.
  • I’ve been whistlin’ tunes from The Ballroom Thieves all week ’cause they make pretty good music.
  • Remember that time Oreo had their moment? I had a similar one yesterday when #TB12’s suspension was lifted and it was a pretty big deal in my very minor social media career.
  • Reynolds (yeah, like Reynolds Wrap) also did some cool stuff on Instagram this week and it’s jaw-dropping-ly awesome and mouth watering all at once.

A short list today, but all very worth your precious time. Click around! Let me know what you think!

XX Anne

#AnniesBigMove

HEY GUYS!

I know it’s been a while. My posts have been few and far between this summer and not because of the infamous Writers Block of Spring 2015 (Can we even call it Spring? Was it not mostly Winter? From January to May? Just Winter. *chills*). I haven’t been around ’cause I’ve been so damn BUSY! To quote Gary Malin via Instagram:

busy

Busy packing up my weekender tote, busy waiting for my personal chauffeur (Pete) to transfer me from Point A to Point B (Brookline to Eastham), busy soaking up rays, styling photos for Chatham Thread Works, busy chasing sunsets and slurping oysters and making a mess of my mom’s little beach house. I’ve been busy riding with dad, treasure hunting with babies, showering al fresco, busy ‘gramming my favorite salty seasides, crashing waves, and what’s #onmyplate. As if all of these tasks weren’t stressful enough, to top it all off they’re telling me I gotta go to work, too!? Where I spend ample amounts of time outdoors, among sunflowers and Pinkberry and Splendid and a shop that sells nothing but Cupcakes???

Cripes. It’s been TOUGH being this busy!

All jokes aside, it’s been one hell of a summer. One hell of a well-deserved, highly-anticipated, gone-in-the-blink-of-an-eye, New England summer. I know I was a little apprehensive about this newfangled idea of my most favorite season (i.e Corporate Summer), but let me tell you, it’s not so bad at all, especially when Mother Nature is on your side (why is no one talking about the record breaking number of sunny days we’ve had this year, Boston!?).

But this post was not intended to be a babble about summertime (as most of my posts tend to be). It began with the selfish intention of a desperate plea for your prayers and well wishes, for today is September 1st, known to many in the Boston area as Move-in Day, or Allston Christmas, if you will. A notorious day in Boston history (which was apparently once a blast), second only to December 16, 1773 (don’t quote me on that), during which, in 2015, 63% of all leases in Boston begin or end, 2,088 moving truck parking permits are issued, 38,232 students take up residency in off-campus housing and between 400-500 pizzas are ordered and consumed (you can quote The Globe on all of that).

It will be madness, mayhem and pure chaos.

…and I’ll be live ‘gramming the whole thing! Follow along using #AnniesBigMove!

Just kidding, Pete! Please don’t change your mind. See you tonight!

I have no idea what I’m getting myself into but I do know that that Ikea bed frame with the drawers underneath, that I just HAD to have, was hands down the worst purchasing decision I have ever made (and that’s saying something). I also know that in the same way that I’m lucky to have a summertime bungalow to escape to each weekend, I’m equally as lucky to have a moving crew*, willing to help me out (at least this year, anyway).

So please think of me tomorrow, when you step outside into those predicted 90 degree temps or while walking up one flight of stairs empty handed. Think of me and my 500lb bed frame, 8 J.McLaughlin tote bags stuffed with scarves, sweaters and sneakers, impossible-to-maneuver 6-drawer bureau and 10 W.B Mason boxes, fighting for a parking space, hustling up side-street hills, climbing 4 flights of stairs, weaving through narrow doorways and the entire population of Brighton. Think of me and the rest of Boston and say a little prayer for us all, cause we’re gonna need it.

To my fellow Move-in Day Warriors, good luck and good vibes.

*It’s not too late to join the team! Annie’s Moving Crew is accepting applications all week long! I pay in oysters, BBQ and beer. Please apply via comments below.

P.S as of noon today, I’m officially a Brighton Newbie! Know any good spots? Coffee? Pizza? Margs? Let’s chat!